Free Beer

I deem this The Summer of Picnics in Parks with Various Children.

That may or may not be such a great title for a summer. It sounded much better in my head, before I typed it into solid text. Before, you know, I realized the potential...interpretations of such a title.

In any case, I am spending my summer mornings nannying for two different families. And they are polar opposites of each other.

In one family, the kids wake up early, eat a balanced breakfast of farm-fresh eggs (straight from the underbellies of the chickens in their backyard), brush their teeth, clean their rooms, and are prepared for a morning of interactive activity--tag, bike riding, beading, etc. In the other family, the kids wake up late, may or may not eat breakfast, and if they do eat "breakfast," it's some shoddily disguised starchy high fructose corn syrup concoction trying (just barely) to pass for cereal with watery milk, and then they watch a strange assortment of television shows allegedly targeting kids.

In one such television show, a character held up a sign that read, "Free beer."

The six-year-old sugar-induced beginning reader sounded out the letters. "F...r....ee...B...eee...rrrrr. Free beer!?"

I nodded, "Yes, good reading. It says free beer."

Later in the day, the same 6-year-old decided to play Legos. He asked me innocently if I would please play Legos with him.

"Just a second," I said, as I tried to finish a chapter in the book I was reading.

There was a pause before I heard him say, enticingly, "I'll give you free beer!"