Yay, Vegetables

I love e-mail.

And it can be such a pain in the ass.

You know that moment, where you quickly reply to an email that your girlfriend sent to you and a few other people regarding the upcoming garden day, and you accidentally hit "reply all?" But you don't know it until the confirmation pops up and tells you that you have sent something like this to Stacia, Barb, Meg, Nedra, Mary, and Cheri: "Honey, I love you and can't wait to see you at garden day in your new sexy black tank top."

And then, instantly, your inbox begins filling with e-mails from your friends who had been included in your private message. "Liz, I never knew you felt that way about me!" or "Liz, if you want to publicly demonstrate your love for your partner, go hetero and get a wedding." or, addressed to Stacia, "Stacia, can't wait to see your sexy shirt. Why don't you wear it to dinner so we can all see it first," or, "Stacia, will you wear your sexy socks along with your sexy tank?"

They are relentless. One honest mistake can breed a multiplying, teasing chain of cyber banter.

But that is a good outcome from making (what seems to be for me) a common error. I can think of three other times when I have accidentally sent an email to the wrong recipient and was devastated.

The first time, I was a first-year in college. I still had my high school boyfriend, and things were rocky in that relationship. He was a sophomore and had been mentioning this other girl, Veronica, a little too often. Besides that, I was crushing out on my student accompanist, a tall, blonde, intense woman with fat dreadies and a gutteral laugh. I was, at that time, very confused about these crushes on women and denied them by drowning them in alcohol, food, or weed. So, needless to say, this relationship with my high school boyfriend was doomed. Neither one of us was really interested in the other one, but neither one of us was the type to break up with someone. We shared a quiet reservedness, a great patience, and an unwavering aversion to causing someone else pain, regardless of how unrealistic the situation was.

So, when I accidentally sent an email to him that was actually supposed to have his name in the subject line, I expedited the process of break-up and ultimately did us both a favor.

But, in that moment, as I sat in the computer lab in a St. Kate's residence hall and saw the email confirmation tell me I had sent the message about how terrible my relationship with Brandon was to Brandon, my stomach dropped to the floor.

What an awful way to tell someone the truth.

I cried for days, not so much because I was mourning the relationship, but because I selfishly thought he would hate me forever. Because I felt a horrible guilt. Because I knew that I should have been straightforward with him from the beginning.

Now I can laugh about it. But then. Ohhhhh, then it was awful.

The second time this sort of thing happened--well, I can't really talk about it. It was an email that was intercepted and the mistaken recipient never received the incriminating email. And that person is someone who may or may not read this blog. May or may not be my parents. May or may not have had something to do with being wasted and confiding in my little sister, who still lived at home and was able to delete the email that I had accidentally sent to my parents before Mom and Dad ever read it.

And, surely, they will read about it now because they are my biggest fans and read all my blogs. (Hi, Mom!)

I honestly don't remember what was in the email, but I remember a big urgency to have my sister delete it. Maybe it had something to do with the crush on the pianist. Who knows.

And the third time happened yesterday. It wasn't quite as embarrassing as the email I sent to my high school boyfriend, but it was a little embarrassing.

Stacia and I are members of Foxtail Organics, a CSA that will begin delivering organic vegetables in June. I received the confirmation email yesterday from the farmers. It was a mass email, sent to all of this year's clients. I was very excited to receive the email and intended to forward the message to Stacia, with this personal addendum:

"Heck yes! I am soooo excited! I can't flipping wait for our veggies!!! Yayyyyy!!!!!!"

So. Clearly, you can see that I was very excited. And my enthusiasm, when expressed in a private email to my girlfriend, is completely legitimate.

Now consider that same message, accidentally sent back to Foxtail Organics and the 25 clients on the email list.

Now I seem like neurotic, hyper-fantastic happy girl.

When I saw that email confirmation, I felt a little unnerved, but I didn't cry for days like I did when I sent the terminal e-mail to Brandon, nor did I frantically attempt to contact my sleeping sister to intercept a coming-out message. Instead, I shrugged and thought, "Well, hey. At least they know I am excited about the upcoming summer produce season."

And it's true. Maybe it was an over-the-top response, but I can't deny that I enthusiastically love being part of a CSA.

Yay!!!! Vegetables!!!!!