More Fun From the Kiddos

So sorry I haven't been keeping you in the loop. Here's why:

I have been working three jobs (and still not making enough money), subletting other people's apartments/houses and moving every few months, trying to find a home for my adorable cats, applying to grad schools (again), singing my heart out for measly tips on a weekly basis (my HEART OUT, people, while you eat your lunch, and all you can give me is your spare change!?), recovering from up and leaving a long-term relationship, traveling, nannying, getting rid of extra things, sewing Halloween costumes for neighborhood kids, and falling way behind in bookkeeping for my music studio. Whew. It's been nuts.

So here is an update on funny things I have heard recently while teaching at the pre-school or during piano lessons.

Case Number One: Imaginary Friends

Little Sarah has an imaginary friend named Kitty. She is always talking to Kitty, asking for Kitty's opinion, and making art projects for Kitty. One day, I was chit-chatting with the other teachers while Sarah busily snipped away at something artsy for Kitty. Sarah said to us, "I am making this for Kitty. She pooped all over the rocks. She likes to drink milk, you know."

I said, "Oh my!"

And she said, "Yes, it was messy. But she does love her milk." Sarah paused, holding the miniature scissors distractedly as she furrowed her four-year-old eyebrows. "Kitty really likes to drink milk from my breasts."

I blinked. I refused to make eye contact with the other teachers, for fear of an eruption of laughter or horrified, embarrassed snickers.

"But," Sarah continued, "My breasts are too small. I'll get big breasts someday, like my Mommy, and then Kitty can have all the milk she wants."


Case Number Two: Shoes

Little Katie showed up to music class without any shoes on. Now, the kids are supposed to always have shoes or slippers on their feet.

"Katie," I said, "Where are your shoes?"

Katie, not one to beat around the bush, looked at me disaffectedly and said, "I peed on 'em."